Unschooling & Sex Education

Middle and high school were really quite rough for me. I wasn't the best at making friends, I didn't really fit in with most crowds, and honestly, I thought I was dumb. I was pretty bad at any kind of advanced math in middle school, and it wasn't until high school that I learned I COULD be good at math, but only under certain circumstances- no bullies in my class, I needed a few friends, a little personal and FUN competition, snacks, and the opportunity to stand up. A lot. And just like that, math clicked.

Weird, huh? Not really if you understand anything about natural learning.

I attended a technical high school which meant that we had the option of becoming a part of a program like hospitality, carpentry, or computer tech. I got into culinary, and it was there that I realized I actually had a drive to learn. It just had to be something I actually cared AT ALL about. When it came to culinary, I wanted to know it all. Every temp to cook meat to, memorize recipes, and be able to convert fractions in my head as quickly as possible. So, suddenly science, math and English became topics I truly enjoyed! I started to dream of having my own business. At the time it was a cafe, and over the years it has shifted quite a bit!

Flash-forward a handful of years and now I have a son who is about to turn three!! I've known since before he was born that I wanted to homeschool all of my children. If it hadn't been for culinary, I'm not sure I would have stayed in school. Between the bullying, being bored and yet feeling stupid, school just 'wasn't my thing'. So, now that I have a child, I don't want to subject him to the same things I went through. And not for nothing- I think school has gotten far worse for kids in the past few years. Unschooling came into my view not long after I had him.

For those that don't know and don't want to go look it up- unschooling is like homeschooling... In the sense that kids don't go to a school. But it requires no curriculum. No schedule, no routine, no subjects, no workbooks, no papers. Children, instead, learn through life. They learn to read via reading books with parents. They learn to write because they learned to read and become inspired to write. They learn to cook at home in the kitchen. They garden, they sew, they make friends at the playground and in homeschooling/unschooling groups, they learn people skills by existing in a world where there are people all around them in parks, stores, online, family, living next door. They spend time volunteering in the community, they travel, they go to the library and museums. But it's all child based. It isn't coercive. As it turns out, it's actually far more effective long term because it is driven by desire, and not forced,

Cool, but what does this have to do with sex ed? I'm so glad you asked!

The things I learned about myself in and out of high school led me to where I am- building and running a business, raising my son outside of the school/daycare system, teaching sex ed in a way that is fun, colorful, inspiring, authentic, relatable, connecting... Sure, I structure classes and workshops but what else do I do? I leave room for ALL the questions and discussions, add in fun and colorful and lively graphics, art and more, I'm me- I'm not cookie cutter, I'm not traditional. I'm a little messy, and I love that. You get to opt-in to all of my classes because I'm not teaching at some school and forcing this information down throats. When I start teaching in person, I'll include comfy ways to sit on the floor, places to stand, let everyone know to bring snacks, and there will be markers, colored pencils, paper and nick knacks to play with!

My education is its own version of unschooling. It's certainly its own version of de-schooling because oh my goodness do we as a society have SO MUCH to unlearn about sex, bodies and expectations. And it's unschooling for me too; this is me-led. I follow my passions, I follow what inspires me and I build classes about THAT. No due dates coming from big, mean bosses, no regulations from junk organizations.

That is one of the many things that makes me, and my work, so special. I'm doing this because I love it. I teach about sex and sexual wellness because it inspires me. And I do all of it in ways that feel good for me, and the people I'm teaching.

How can you incorporate more of the things you love in your life, your work?